March and April

I do realize that we are 11 days into May.
January and February life, as much of a roller coaster as it seemed, was pretty straight forward.
March and April, and now even May, are a little different. Throughout my devotions, our women's retreat, and the messages each Sunday, God is planting seeds of truth in my life that I am waiting to watch them take root and unfold.

The waiting is sometimes hard. But necessary.
The last several months I have been reading through Paul's letters to the churches. So many people at so many stages of their Christian walks, but God gave Paul the wisdom to speak truth into each of their situations, with such humility. I have been reading first and second Timothy lately. He was encouraging Timothy to live a life that was marked by the Gospel.

Since January, I knew that the Lord was leading me to different pursuits. To stop teaching full time. I just needed a break. I was tired, there was so much going on in life and our family. I was pursuing so many things that I was feeling crazy because nothing was going well. It has been a call for us to trust Him more because there are still a lot of unknowns for how God is going to carry us into the future. We don't know all of his plans, but yet we feel such peace in this decision. I get to spend more time with my boys at home. I get to give them my first best for a while, instead of the tiredness left in me at the end of the day. He has slowly begun to open up doors for us. I will teach part time while the boys go to preschool. Will has some opportunities to begin pursuing. Every time I begin to worry again, God pulls me closer so I remember that I am in his hands.

For this season I really need to stop pursuing goals, but focus on pursuing God. I need to strip away so many things in my life that are holding keeping my attention from Him. I need to pursue less things in life, but do them well, in a manner that pleases the Lord.

Not that life will necessarily get easier, or less busy. But I think the change of pace will be good. There is loss though. I am leaving a dear school and many sweet co-workers and friends who have supported me through all the joys and pains of teaching. My built-in friends and supports won't be there anymore. But I get to pursue God's designs for my life in a different way. I want to pursue Him and know him more deeply. I know he will continue to provide the right people to encourage me.
It is still not quite making sense, in my head, what next year looks like. But I know HE knows, and right now, for me, that is enough.

Strawberries

I love fruit picking. Last year we went strawberry picking for the first time and I realized how wonderful it is. We used to go blueberry picking, and I will definitely go again this summer, but picking tiny berries in the scorching heat does not seem to suit the boys very well. It takes forever since the berries are so small. They get bored and hot after 15 minutes. And the bucket it barely filled up to my liking.

Strawberries on the other hand. Perfect. It doesn't take too long. 

Alex was busy picking the whole time. Which was 30 minutes give or take. Not long at all.

Liam is wonderful at eating strawberries. It wasn't too hot. He could sit down and not get lost in the bushes.

This picture sums it up. Liam eats, Alex feels important because he has his own basket. And both refuse to look or smile at the camera. 

So what does one do with three baskets of strawberries?

I asked Alex what we should make with them. I was thinking strawberry shortcake. Grab some pre-made stuff and add strawberries.
Of course he would suggest sometime like cupcakes. Or cake. He went back and forth most of the car ride home.
Of course, I am already on pinterest as we are leaving the strawberry patch. But what way to more quickly get some ideas, and think about a list of ingredients I need before we get home.
I just knew it needed whipped cream. What better way to add strawberries to a dessert than add in some whipped cream. (unless you are making chocolate covered strawberries, and we ran out before I had the chance)

So these are the recipes I ended up using.
I found the strawberry cupcake recipe here and doubled it because I was going to make some for our community group and my hallway at school. It was delicious. Even though my butter wasn't totally room temperature and never mixed in very well.

And the strawberry whipped cream was divine. You can find the recipe here. And just go ahead and make extra of that too because it tastes good with everything.

The rest of the strawberries were eaten fresh! The boys ate them with almost every meal and as snacks. They were delicious with my granola and yogurt in the mornings too. We ate up Alex's basket first because he didn't totally grasp the concept of picking BIG strawberries... his were nice and red but pretty tiny!

Anyways. I am looking forward to filling my freezer with blueberries this summer. And we missed apple picking last year, so I am excited to do that in the fall too! But strawberry picking will always be one of my favorite family activities too! :)

Conversations with a 4 year old about God

"Mommy, Look at me!"
I turn around to find Alex holding two bags of mikans.
"I'm as strong as God!" he tells me.

"Well..."

That tends to be how I start every response related to a statement he makes about God.
In my mind my thoughts are racing as I formulate my response to him. Part of me realizes that it doesn't take long for us to try to put ourselves up there with God. The other part of me wonders how to explain God's greatness and strength in a way that a 4 year old can understand.

"Alex, God is so much stronger! He can hold the whole world in his hands! {insert thought--does a four year old understand how big the world is?} God made all the mountains... and the moon... are you strong enough to hold those things?"

The conversation quickly digresses into me asking Alex to actually give me the bags of clementines so he doesn't start smashing them to bits.

Then there was the conversation on the way to school this morning. He is holding a new bookmark and he declares that it is going to go in his favorite part of a book. 10 minutes later he informs me that it is going to go in his Bible at the part where Jesus died.

Should Jesus dying really be his favorite part of the Bible? I wonder to myself.
"Yes, Alex, Jesus died for us, but the best part is that he rose again from the dead! He is still alive today! Now he is in Heaven with God!"

"But I thought Jesus and God were the same person." Alex responds.

{have you tried explaining the trinity to a 4 year old? If so, please feel free to explain how!}

"Well...  (My favorite filler word.)
They are the same, but God is the Father and Jesus is his Son..."
(we did have a conversation about the Holy Spirit one time, but we didn't make it that far this time.)

Every time our conversations kind of trail off. Each time, I pray afterwards that Jesus will use my words to keep bringing clarity of the gospel and the truth about Him to Alex's 4-year old brain. I'm so grateful for resources like the Jesus Story Book Bible, and the Gospel Project lessons we use at our church to help him understand how the the story of Jesus is woven through the whole Bible and that Alex can be a part of that story still.

Am I overthinking these conversations? Maybe, but this is some serious truth we are talking about and I hope that he grasps it. It is this part of parenting that sometimes makes me most afraid. The one I hope I don't mess up. I'm going to mess up on a lot of things, but I want to make sure my boys know and understand what Jesus did for them. Thankfully, its really not about me. It is my reminder to go to Jesus daily to keep learning from His word and ask Him for the strength and grace to love and parent well. It keeps me grateful that Jesus uses fallen, sinful, but FORGIVEN people to spread his gospel.

The other day Alex brought up sin and how it is the bad things people do...
"Do you ever do bad things Alex?" I asked him. {Hoping to work in a little lesson about listening in there.}
"Well mommy, like the time you...."

Leave it to your 4 year old to point out sin in your life.

"Yes, Mommy makes mistakes too. But Jesus forgive me."

Thank goodness. Parenting always shows me how much I need Jesus.


"Mommy, I see Jesus!"
Alex was calling out from the closed door in his room. This was a couple weeks ago. I had put the boys to bed early. REALLY early. Will was out and the evening was not going well, I was in a really bad mood, and I needed a break. A chance to regroup.
Of course a comment like that sends me back into his room quite quickly... with lots of questions in my mind.
He was sitting in bed with his bible open to a picture of Jesus on the cross.
"Why is he on the cross?" Alex asked.
We proceeded to have a sweet little talk about why Jesus died for us on the cross and what that meant for us.

"I love Jesus" he told me.

We kept talking until Liam escaped from my lap, ended up on Alex's bed and a wrestling match with lots of laughter followed. I was a little in shock that such a conversation came out of such a horrible evening. But it was the conversation we needed to turn all of moods around. It gave me the new perspective I needed.

These little talks I will cherish forever.

Asian Grilled Chicken Salad {in less than 30 minutes}

This salad seriously takes less than 30 minutes. Well, I did start marinating the chicken earlier, but You can make do with a quick marinade if need be! 

The weather is now perfect for grilling and so this morning I started marinating a big batch of chicken using my favorite teriyaki marinade. 

You need:

1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 cup soy sauce
2 Tbsp brown sugar
3 mashed cloves garlic ( I used 2 Tbsp minced garlic)
1 Tbsp grated fresh ginger (I use 1 Tbsp ground if I don't have fresh)
2 Tbsp mirin

Combine ingredients and mix well. I doubled it and we grilled about 6 chicken breasts... We will use it for a couple different meals this week!

Then this evening, Will started the grilling while I made a salad.
I mixed together some arugula, spinach, and romaine with some veggies. But I felt like it needed a little more...
so I crushed up a bag of ramen, and browned it with about a tablespoon of butter. Stir it up until the ramen is browned.
But I was missing the good asian dressing. I love my creamy sesame, but was not wanting a creamy base with the teriyaki chicken. So I browsed on pinterest and found this sesame dressing which I mixed up in no time. (I didn't have fresh ginger on hand so used the powdered stuff. I am sure fresh would be much more amazing, but it worked. It tastes like the delicious ginger dressing they put on salads in all the japanese restaurants you go to here. I would probably use a little less onions than the recipe called for... but other than that, it was perfect.
We have lots of chicken and dressing left over for more salads this week! The ramen should stay crunchy for another day or two stored in an air tight container.

The chicken was perfect and juicy and we didn't need much dressing, just enough to add some extra flavor!

Will and I decided to let the boys eat while watching a show so we could enjoy a little peace and quiet while eating tonight! ;) Everyone was happy! 

A pretty good day.

It started with a text saying that there was Moe's after church for the children's ministry leadership team.
Not having to figure out what to make for lunch when we got home.
Wonderful.

Then, when we got home, Liam went right to sleep and Will and Alex enjoyed some low key Wii U fun, while I cut out the super hero puppets and put them on sticks.

Lots of puppet fighting followed.
Unfortunately Cat Woman was the only "bad guy" we could find. Its a little hard to really get a puppet show going with just one bad guy!

Trip to Aldi with Alex. I love grocery shopping with him. He wanted to make sure we got pineapple and that I added it to my list. (I spelled it for him of course)

So when we got to Aldi, he wrote it in my notebook.
We discovered some kids games we didn't have. And I got all the ingredients I need to make pizza that reminds me of Italy.

We got home and started playing Disney Jr. Guess Who? about 5 million times. While eating a whole bunch of grapes.

I was putting away some of the boys clothes and we discovered a pair of squeaky shoes for Liam. His giggles were priceless.

Then Will informed me that he has a free rental on google play. Cue Big Hero 6. Unavailable at every RedBox in the area. Plus it was free. Dinner was popcorn, some fruit strips, and chips.

The boys were okay with that. And Big Hero 6 was a success. Liam has pulled up the trailer on my phone multiple times and so was pretty thrilled with it at first. And then he completely lost interest. So goes the life of a 20 month old. (is he really almost 2?!)

Of course bedtime was the snag as usual. Alex's ear hurt.  But he did make some notes about playing connect four today. And I got him to write 'Alex Games'. 

He wants to put notes up all over his room. I just think it is super cute that he is writing things other than his name.
Watching him develop as a writer and reader is precious.

Sometimes it is just all the wonderful little things that are wrapped up into one day that make it so beautiful. The reminders that we don't need much to be happy.

Note to self. Complete lesson plans and all school related items before weekend starts. It makes Sunday more wonderful.
Happy March.

February

I always have plans to write more. But life happens. And I have been giving a little more attention to my teaching blog and the fun of that. Not that this isn't fun too, but you know... ;)

I thought at least I will check in once a month. Last month was the roller coast, but the Lord is faithful. He has continued to show that to us in the way He takes care of the little details.

Yet, why is it so hard to continue to trust Him?
This month I feel like in his faithfulness he is calling on us for a greater trust. We have begun giving him the things that hold us here, and other times he takes them from us. In the midst of it all it sometimes feels like madness. I question what is happening, our future.

I am a planner. I love calendars, planners, lists. I plan so I don't worry. So this month, there have been days of worry. Wondering what God has for us in the future. How will it all come together. Wondering if others think we are foolish in our decisions. Are we really following the Lord's leading.
But I hear the voice that says, trust me.

And then my mind wonders do I believe that what he has in store for us is wonderful and amazing. But what if it is not. What if life gets more difficult.
And then I remember again. Trust.

This verse in proverbs resonated with me last month, and it continues to be the verse that comes to mind as I think about the future. God has never said life would be easy, that everything would make sense, but he has always promised to be there. I can plan all I want to, but it is his way that will prevail. In my lack of plans I am looking to him more than ever. He will never leave us or forsake us.
So Trust me.

Last week as I was preparing for the 3 year olds sunday school class we teach, they were going to learn about Habbakuk. The trust that Habbakuk had to have in the midst of all the confusion and questions. We talked with the 3 year olds that even when things are going wrong we can remember: God is strong. God loves us. He listens when we pray. As I heard their little voices repeat it with me as we said it multiple times, I was struck with how simple it is to repeat, but do I always believe it like I should?

So as we continue to move (at an alarming pace) through 2015, we know that we can trust the Lord. He will establish his way in our life.

Psalm 20:7, Proverbs 3:5-6, Thessalonians

And, on a side note, for when worry still tries to sneak in listening to this CD has been a huge encouragement to me.

January

Its hard to believe that January was just one month. When we entered 2015, I knew it would be a year of lots of changes. I knew that a lot of the future was still uncertain. But I hoped. I imagined. I planned.
You know when you are on a roller coaster, and you make it through one rocky part, but the bulk of the ride has not yet even started. And then that last part is the wildest ride. When its over, its hard to move.
That would describe January.

It's disappointing, in a blink of an eye, everything started to change. But throughout that roller coaster, I'm grateful to have a constant: Jesus.
We hoped for things to go a different way, but since our hope is IN the Lord, we do not fear.
He knows our plans. He guides our steps.
We do not fear.

There are so many things to look forward to in the coming months. Even in disappointment there is great joy. We have made some decisions for our future that bring peace to my heart even in the midst of uncertainty. We will keep trusting that the Lord will guide our steps.
Because He is faithful and He is good.
So grateful to serve such a Faithful Father.

Proverbs 16:9, Isaiah 40:31, Isaiah 43:1-3,  Philippians 1:6