March and April

I do realize that we are 11 days into May.
January and February life, as much of a roller coaster as it seemed, was pretty straight forward.
March and April, and now even May, are a little different. Throughout my devotions, our women's retreat, and the messages each Sunday, God is planting seeds of truth in my life that I am waiting to watch them take root and unfold.

The waiting is sometimes hard. But necessary.
The last several months I have been reading through Paul's letters to the churches. So many people at so many stages of their Christian walks, but God gave Paul the wisdom to speak truth into each of their situations, with such humility. I have been reading first and second Timothy lately. He was encouraging Timothy to live a life that was marked by the Gospel.

Since January, I knew that the Lord was leading me to different pursuits. To stop teaching full time. I just needed a break. I was tired, there was so much going on in life and our family. I was pursuing so many things that I was feeling crazy because nothing was going well. It has been a call for us to trust Him more because there are still a lot of unknowns for how God is going to carry us into the future. We don't know all of his plans, but yet we feel such peace in this decision. I get to spend more time with my boys at home. I get to give them my first best for a while, instead of the tiredness left in me at the end of the day. He has slowly begun to open up doors for us. I will teach part time while the boys go to preschool. Will has some opportunities to begin pursuing. Every time I begin to worry again, God pulls me closer so I remember that I am in his hands.

For this season I really need to stop pursuing goals, but focus on pursuing God. I need to strip away so many things in my life that are holding keeping my attention from Him. I need to pursue less things in life, but do them well, in a manner that pleases the Lord.

Not that life will necessarily get easier, or less busy. But I think the change of pace will be good. There is loss though. I am leaving a dear school and many sweet co-workers and friends who have supported me through all the joys and pains of teaching. My built-in friends and supports won't be there anymore. But I get to pursue God's designs for my life in a different way. I want to pursue Him and know him more deeply. I know he will continue to provide the right people to encourage me.
It is still not quite making sense, in my head, what next year looks like. But I know HE knows, and right now, for me, that is enough.